Steps to Release Negative Emotions
The process of personal growth and development encompasses several stages, including the management of emotions.
Managing emotions is a complex process, mainly because we often feel that we have no control over them, as they arise unexpectedly when a situation or event (trigger) occurs in our lives. It is precisely because of this "lack of control" that we tend to focus on what we believe we can control (situations and events) rather than focusing on the emotion itself.
In this guide, we will establish a process to help us address emotions themselves, so that we can release them and thereby avoid letting them control or dominate us in future occasions.
Step 1. Identify the emotion: To do this, we enter a meditative state (sitting, lying down, or standing—whichever feels most comfortable), close our eyes, and recall a situation that has caused us some unpleasant sensation (anger, sadness, dislike, intolerance, impatience...). Once we visualize the situation—and automatically—we will start to feel the emotion; the idea is to feel it and not to ignore it (or repress it), but to go through it, allowing it to flow through our body. Once the emotion is present, we become aware of which part of the body it manifests most prominently in: stomach, head, ears, pelvis, etc. Focusing on the most affected part of the body, and we mentally ask ourselves the following question: What am I really feeling? The answer may be immediate or take some time to come, but the important thing is to keep asking ourselves the same question as many times as necessary until an answer comes to us.
Step 2. Go through the emotion: Once the type of emotion (anger, sadness, fear, anxiety) is identified we will mentally visualize the situation that produces such emotion (the one identified in the previous step), but this time —and using our creativity— we will imagine that situation at its worst; that is, we will recreate in our minds that this situation is happening and each time it gets worse, until we feel there is no escape. To know if we are making correct use of our imagination, we have to keep feeling —while continuing to imagine— that the emotion is getting bigger and more present, until it becomes almost unbearable. In this phase, the important thing is to continue holding onto the emotion and ignore the internal voice telling us not to continue with the exercise.
Step 3. Release the emotion: Reached the climax in the previous step —if we have done it correctly— we will find ourselves in the state in which we "explode" into tears. Once we reach this point, we can move out of our meditative state as our body demands, but without stopping imagining the situation and its worst consequences, which, furthermore —and imaginarily— have no end. This phase will last as long as necessary and will depend on each person's process. The idea is to be able to cry for the purpose of releasing.
Step 4. Recovery: To leave the previous state, we must let the tears cease on their own without forcing that end. Once this has ceased, we will be left with a feeling similar to fatigue, and gradually, spontaneously—without forcing it—we will recover, until we return to the natural state we were in before starting the exercise.
Becoming aware of our emotions is fundamental to the process of personal development and growth, as they —consciously or unconsciously— generate a great weight in our decisions, habits, and lifestyles, like making wrong decisions or procrastination in order to avoid feeling the pain or discomfort that certain emotions produce. Therefore, recognizing our own emotional state and releasing them —as we indicate in the previous exercise— will make the weight of these emotions gradually diminish, while we gain more freedom, peace, and clarity in decision-making and in our overall lifestyle.